The number of voluntary single moms in Sweden is increasing.
Though still considered controversial and much debated, getting pregnant through a sperm donator is becoming more and more common.
Take Jessica. Her plan was to study at university, carve out a career for herself, meet Mr. Right, travel with Mr. Right, make a nice home together, get married and have children – preferably before age 35. But life doesn’t always turn out the way we plan, now does it? At 35, Jessica had an interesting job as a business developer in the travel sector in Stockholm and her free time was filled with theater, exhibitions, exercise, and travels. But… she was still single.
“I had a great life as a single,” she explains. “Which also meant I had high expectations on a prospective partner. I didn’t need a man to support me or to have fun.”
Jessica wasn’t willing to throw herself into a mediocre relationship just to have a baby, but at the same time she heard her biological clock ticking away. “After 35 it’s getting harder to become pregnant.” She was afraid it might become too late for her. After having thought it over for several years and after having visited the organization Femmis (an organization helping voluntary single women with sperm donation), Jessica decided to go to Denmark for insemination.
She chose an open as opposed to anonymous donor, which means that her baby at age 18 can find out who his father is and contact him if he so chooses. After three trials, she became pregnant. Jessica says she had great support from her family after Theo was born.
“I suppose the great challenge is when I have to go back to work and must tackle the day-to-day tasks all alone,” she says.
According to the Swedish Genetic Integrity law, sperm donation is allowed to take place at hospitals in women who are married or who live together with a partner. Since 2005, it is also allowed for lesbian couples. But the right does not extend to single women (who on the other hand are allowed to adopt). Since Swedish single women are denied sperm donation many chose to go to Denmark, Finland, Lithuania and England where such a procedure is legal. A sperm donator in Sweden can father a total of 12 children through insemination at a hospital. The waiting period for an insemination was 18 months in Göteborg in 2009.
Jessica is a voluntary single mom. She became pregnant through a sperm donor in Denmark. “The most important thing is to be able to provide your child with a stable upbringing, and I think I can do that,” she says.